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InterlinearVerse GEN EXO LEV NUM DEU JOB JOS JDG RUTH 1 SAM 2 SAM PSA AMOS HOS 1 KI 2 KI 1 CHR 2 CHR PROV ECC SNG JOEL MIC ISA ZEP HAB JER LAM YNA (JNA) NAH OBA DAN EZE EZRA EST NEH HAG ZEC MAL LAO GES LES ESG DNG 2 PS TOB JDT WIS SIR BAR LJE PAZ SUS BEL MAN 1 MAC 2 MAC 3 MAC 4 MAC YHN (JHN) MARK MAT LUKE ACTs YAC (JAM) GAL 1 TH 2 TH 1 COR 2 COR ROM COL PHM EPH PHP 1 TIM TIT 1 PET 2 PET 2 TIM HEB YUD (JUD) 1 YHN (1 JHN) 2 YHN (2 JHN) 3 YHN (3 JHN) REV
Est C1 C2 C3 C4 C5 C6 C7 C8 C9 C10
Est 2 V1 V2 V3 V4 V5 V6 V7 V8 V9 V11 V12 V13 V14 V15 V16 V17 V18 V19 V20 V21 V22 V23
OET (OET-LV) Not ʼEştēr she_had_told DOM people_of_her and_DOM kindred_of_her if/because Mārəddəkay he_had_commanded on/upon_it(f) (cmp) not she_will_tell.
OET (OET-RV) (Esther hadn’t revealed her family ties or her Jewishness to anyone, because Mordekai had instructed her not to.)
Some time later the king decided to choose a new queen to replace Vashti. Many beautiful girls were brought to the palace and Esther was among them. When her turn came to go to the king, he liked her better than any other girl, so he chose her to be his new queen.
Esther did not reveal her people or her lineage,
Now, Esther had not told anyone that she was a Jew or what family she came from,
because Mordecai had instructed her not to do so.
because before she went to the palace Mordecai had warned her not to do so.
It may be better in your language to reverse 2:10a and 2:10b. Then you could say something like:
Before she went to the palace, Mordecai had warned Esther not to tell anyone that she was a Jew or what family she came from, and she obeyed him.
לֹא־הִגִּ֣ידָה אֶסְתֵּ֔ר אֶת־עַמָּ֖הּ וְאֶת־מֽוֹלַדְתָּ֑הּ
not reveal ʼEştēr DOM people_of,her and=DOM kindred_of,her
This means that Esther had not told anyone this information about herself.
Note 1 topic: figures-of-speech / doublet
אֶת־עַמָּ֖הּ וְאֶת־מֽוֹלַדְתָּ֑הּ
DOM people_of,her and=DOM kindred_of,her
These two short phrases mean almost the same thing. They are used together to emphasize that Esther followed Mordecai’s instructions exactly. You could combine them, as UST does, and say something like “what people group she was from.” Alternate translation: [Esther did not tell anyone that she was a Jew, and she did not tell anyone who her relatives were]
Note 2 topic: grammar-connect-logic-result
כִּ֧י מָרְדֳּכַ֛י צִוָּ֥ה עָלֶ֖יהָ
that/for/because/then/when Mārəddəkay charged on/upon=it(f)
This is background information that explains why Esther did not tell anyone about her family or nationality. It might be helpful to your readers to state this at the beginning of the verse.
צִוָּ֥ה עָלֶ֖יהָ
charged on/upon=it(f)
This means that Mordecai had gotten her to promise not to do it.
OET (OET-LV) Not ʼEştēr she_had_told DOM people_of_her and_DOM kindred_of_her if/because Mārəddəkay he_had_commanded on/upon_it(f) (cmp) not she_will_tell.
OET (OET-RV) (Esther hadn’t revealed her family ties or her Jewishness to anyone, because Mordekai had instructed her not to.)
Note: The OET-RV is still only a first draft, and so far only a few words have been (mostly automatically) matched to the Hebrew or Greek words that they’re translated from.
Acknowledgements: The Hebrew text, lemmas, and morphology are all thanks to the OSHB and some of the glosses are from Macula Hebrew.