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OET (OET-LV) Not she_had_told ʼEştēr DOM people_her and_DOM kindred_her if/because Mārəddəkay he_had_commanded on/upon_it(f) (cmp) not she_will_tell.
OET (OET-RV) (Esther hadn’t revealed her family ties or her Jewishness to anyone, because Mordekai had instructed her not to.)
לֹא־הִגִּ֣ידָה אֶסְתֵּ֔ר אֶת־עַמָּ֖הּ וְאֶת־מֽוֹלַדְתָּ֑הּ
not reveal ʼEştēr DOM people,her and=DOM kindred,her
This means that Esther had not told anyone this information about herself.
Note 1 topic: figures-of-speech / doublet
אֶת־עַמָּ֖הּ וְאֶת־מֽוֹלַדְתָּ֑הּ
DOM people,her and=DOM kindred,her
These two short phrases mean almost the same thing. They are used together to emphasize that Esther followed Mordecai’s instructions exactly. You could combine them, as UST does, and say something like “what people group she was from.” Alternate translation: “Esther did not tell anyone that she was a Jew, and she did not tell anyone who her relatives were”
Note 2 topic: grammar-connect-logic-result
כִּ֧י מָרְדֳּכַ֛י צִוָּ֥ה עָלֶ֖יהָ
that/for/because/then/when Mārəddəkay charged on/upon=it(f)
This is background information that explains why Esther did not tell anyone about her family or nationality. It might be helpful to your readers to state this at the beginning of the verse.
צִוָּ֥ה עָלֶ֖יהָ
charged on/upon=it(f)
This means that Mordecai had gotten her to promise not to do it.
2:10 Mordecai had probably already experienced some prejudice against Jews. Esther’s Jewish background would later become the key to her exposing Haman’s terrible plot.
OET (OET-LV) Not she_had_told ʼEştēr DOM people_her and_DOM kindred_her if/because Mārəddəkay he_had_commanded on/upon_it(f) (cmp) not she_will_tell.
OET (OET-RV) (Esther hadn’t revealed her family ties or her Jewishness to anyone, because Mordekai had instructed her not to.)
Note: The OET-RV is still only a first draft, and so far only a few words have been (mostly automatically) matched to the Hebrew or Greek words that they’re translated from.