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OET (OET-LV) And it_was_given to_them, in_order_that not they_may_kill_off them, but in_order_that they_will_be_being_tormented five for_months, and the torment of_them is like torment of_a_scorpion, whenever it_may_strike a_person.
OET (OET-RV) They weren’t given power to kill them, but only to torment them for five months, and their torment was like that of a scorpion when it strikes a person.
Note 1 topic: figures-of-speech / activepassive
ἐδόθη αὐτοῖς ἵνα μὴ ἀποκτείνωσιν αὐτούς, ἀλλ’ ἵνα βασανισθήσονται
˱it˲_/was/_given ˱to˲_them in_order_that not ˱they˲_/may/_kill_off them but in_order_that ˱they˲_/will_be_being/_tormented
If your language does not use these passive forms, you could express the ideas in active form or in another way that is natural in your language. Alternate translation: Alternate translation: “God did not allow the locusts to kill these people but to torment them for five months
Note 2 topic: writing-pronouns
ἐδόθη αὐτοῖς ἵνα μὴ ἀποκτείνωσιν αὐτούς
˱it˲_/was/_given ˱to˲_them in_order_that not ˱they˲_/may/_kill_off them
The them refers in its first instance to the locusts John describes in 9:3 and in its second instance the people John describes in 9:4 who did not have the seal of God on their foreheads. It may be helpful to clarify this for your readers. Alternate translation: “it was given to the locusts that they should not kill these people”
Note 3 topic: figures-of-speech / simile
ὁ βασανισμὸς αὐτῶν ὡς βασανισμὸς σκορπίου, ὅταν παίσῃ ἄνθρωπον
the torment ˱of˲_them_‹is› like torment ˱of˲_/a/_scorpion whenever ˱it˲_/may/_strike /a/_person
The point of this comparison is that just as the sting of a scorpion is very painful, the torment that people would experience after these locusts stung them would be very painful. If it would be helpful in your language, you could make this point explicitly. Alternate translation: “their torment when the locusts stung them would be very painful, as the sting of a scorpion is very painful for a person”
9:5 torture them for five months: This time period is a symbolically complete number based on the fingers on a hand. It is also the normal life span of locusts, suggesting that their entire purpose was to torture people.
OET (OET-LV) And it_was_given to_them, in_order_that not they_may_kill_off them, but in_order_that they_will_be_being_tormented five for_months, and the torment of_them is like torment of_a_scorpion, whenever it_may_strike a_person.
OET (OET-RV) They weren’t given power to kill them, but only to torment them for five months, and their torment was like that of a scorpion when it strikes a person.
Note: The OET-RV is still only a first draft, and so far only a few words have been (mostly automatically) matched to the Greek words that they’re translated from.
Acknowledgements: The SR Greek text, lemmas, morphology, and VLT gloss are all thanks to the SR-GNT.