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OET (OET-LV) And_because/when you(pl)_will_sacrifice a_sacrifice_of thanksgiving to/for_YHWH so_that_accepted_of_you(pl) you(pl)_will_sacrifice_it.
Note 1 topic: writing-poetry
וְכִֽי־ תִזְבְּח֥וּ זֶֽבַח־ תּוֹדָ֖ה
(Some words not found in UHB: and=because/when sacrifice offering_of thanksgiving to/for=YHWH so_that,accepted_of,you(pl) sacrifice )
Words are being repeated for emphasis. Specifically, the noun sacrifice comes from the same root as the verb sacrifice. your language can repeat words in a similar way, consider doing so here. If not, consider using a generic expression. Alternate translation: [And whenever you present an animal as a sacrifice of thanks to Yahweh]
OET (OET-LV) And_because/when you(pl)_will_sacrifice a_sacrifice_of thanksgiving to/for_YHWH so_that_accepted_of_you(pl) you(pl)_will_sacrifice_it.
Note: The OET-RV is still only a first draft, and so far only a few words have been (mostly automatically) matched to the Hebrew or Greek words that they’re translated from.
Acknowledgements: The Hebrew text, lemmas, and morphology are all thanks to the OSHB and some of the glosses are from Macula Hebrew.