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OET (OET-LV) But the tax_collector having_stood afar, was_ not _willing not_even his eyes to_lift_up to the sky, but was_striking the chest of_him saying:
- god, be_made_atonement for_me, the sinner.
OET (OET-RV) But the tax-collector stood at a distance, not even willing to raise his head, instead beating his chest and saying, ‘God, I’m a sinner, take away my guilt.’
Note 1 topic: translate-symaction
ὁ δὲ τελώνης μακρόθεν ἑστὼς
the but tax_collector afar /having/_stood
This was a sign of humility. The tax collector did not feel worthy to be near the Pharisee and the other people in the temple courtyard. It may be helpful to make each of the phrases in this verse a separate sentence. Alternate translation: “But the tax collector humbly stood by himself, away from the other people who were there”
Note 2 topic: figures-of-speech / idiom
οὐκ ἤθελεν οὐδὲ τοὺς ὀφθαλμοὺς ἐπᾶραι εἰς τὸν οὐρανόν
not /was/_willing not_even his eyes /to/_lift_up to the sky
The phrase lift up his eyes means to look at something. Alternate translation: “did not even want to look up toward heaven”
Note 3 topic: figures-of-speech / explicit
εἰς τὸν οὐρανόν
to the sky
See how you translated the similar expression in 9:16. Alternate translation: “beyond the sky towards God in heaven”
Note 4 topic: translate-symaction
ἀλλ’ ἔτυπτε τὸ στῆθος αὐτοῦ
but (Some words not found in SR-GNT: ὁ δὲ τελώνης μακρόθεν ἑστὼς οὐκ ἤθελεν οὐδὲ τοὺς ὀφθαλμοὺς ἐπᾶραι εἰς τὸν οὐρανόν ἀλλʼ ἔτυπτεν τὸ στῆθος αὐτοῦ λέγων ὁ Θεός ἱλάσθητί μοι τῷ ἁμαρτωλῷ)
This was a physical expression of great sorrow, and it showed this man’s repentance and humility. Alternate translation: “but instead, he hit his chest to demonstrate his shame and sorrow over his sins”
Note 5 topic: figures-of-speech / quotesinquotes
λέγων, ὁ Θεός, ἱλάσθητί μοι, τῷ ἁμαρτωλῷ
saying ¬The God /be/_made_atonement ˱for˲_me the sinner
If it would be helpful in your language, you could translate this so that there is not a quotation within a quotation. Alternate translation: “admitting that he was a sinner and asking God to have mercy on him”
Note 6 topic: figures-of-speech / imperative
ὁ Θεός, ἱλάσθητί μοι, τῷ ἁμαρτωλῷ
the ¬The God /be/_made_atonement ˱for˲_me the sinner
This is an imperative, but it should be translated as a polite request rather than as a command. It may be helpful to add an expression such as “please” to make this clear. Alternate translation: “God, please be merciful to me, I confess that I am a sinner” or “God, please forgive me for the many sins I have committed”
18:13 he beat his chest in sorrow: This action indicated deep mourning and repentance.
OET (OET-LV) But the tax_collector having_stood afar, was_ not _willing not_even his eyes to_lift_up to the sky, but was_striking the chest of_him saying:
- god, be_made_atonement for_me, the sinner.
OET (OET-RV) But the tax-collector stood at a distance, not even willing to raise his head, instead beating his chest and saying, ‘God, I’m a sinner, take away my guilt.’
Note: The OET-RV is still only a first draft, and so far only a few words have been (mostly automatically) matched to the Greek words that they’re translated from.
Acknowledgements: The SR Greek text, lemmas, morphology, and VLT gloss are all thanks to the SR-GNT.