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OET (OET-LV) And_near/to Qayin/(Cain) and_near/to his/its_donation/offering not he_looked and_it_glowed/burned to/for_Qayin/(Cain) exceedingly and_they_fell his/its_faces/face.
OET (OET-RV) but he didn’t even look towards Kayin and his offering. Kayin got very angry and his face showed his displeasure.
וְאֶל קַ֥יִן & לֹ֣א שָׁעָ֑ה
and=near/to Qayin/(Cain) & not he/it_looked/gazed
See how you translated “looked favorably on” in verse 4. Alternate translation: “But Yahweh was not happy with Cain” or “However, he did not accept Cain”
וְאֶל מִנְחָת֖וֹ
and=near/to and=near/to his/its=donation/offering
Alternate translation: “and his gift” or “and what he gave to him.”
Note 1 topic: figures-of-speech / idiom
וַיִּ֤חַר לְקַ֨יִן֙ מְאֹ֔ד
and=it_glowed/burned to/for=Qayin/(Cain) very
Many languages have a similar idiom that fits well here. Do what is best in your language. Alternate translation: “So Cain was extremely angry,”
Note 2 topic: figures-of-speech / idiom
וַֽיִּפְּל֖וּ פָּנָֽיו
and=they_fell his/its=faces/face
Alternate translation: “and his face showed that he was angry” or “and he scowled.” or “and his face showed it.”
4:4-5 the best portions of the firstborn lambs: Or the firstborn of his flock and their fat portions. Abel was giving God the best animals and the richest parts. Abel’s offering, in contrast to Cain’s, was the best he had to offer. True worship is a costly privilege.
OET (OET-LV) And_near/to Qayin/(Cain) and_near/to his/its_donation/offering not he_looked and_it_glowed/burned to/for_Qayin/(Cain) exceedingly and_they_fell his/its_faces/face.
OET (OET-RV) but he didn’t even look towards Kayin and his offering. Kayin got very angry and his face showed his displeasure.
Note: The OET-RV is still only a first draft, and so far only a few words have been (mostly automatically) matched to the Greek words that they’re translated from.